Why is Desperados rated Not Rated? Desperados is rated Not Rated by the MPAA Call me a prude but I just don’t think tween boys should be used for pedophile jokes and sexual innuendo. It’s possible to be crass and funny, but Desperados falls fully into the “gross” category. When not trying to kill the audience with squirmingly awkward moments, the writers also attempt to include humor through profanity and sexual innuendo. I did have to look away and breathe deeply a few times when it got too mortifying to even witness. I did not laugh or even crack a smile the whole time. Cringy secondhand embarrassment is hard to get right as humor, and this production gets it very wrong. I’m not claiming witchcraft, but I’m also not not claiming witchcraft.Īside from being an eternity long, the writers of this movie also forgot that they were making a comedy and failed to add any jokes. This film stole my entire day from me, and yet it claims to only be 105 minutes long. An eternity later, I emerged from my bedroom, slightly dehydrated, hungry, and with a headache, realizing it was now time to make dinner, even though I had started watching right after lunch. I kissed my sweet baby goodbye and settled in. That was the moment I realized that I needed to hunker down for the long haul. At one point during the runtime, I thought the story was wrapping up and I felt like I’d been watching for a while, so I checked how much time was left. They should sell that technology to NASA and get their money’s worth. I want to start off by congratulating Netflix on their huge achievement of creating a wormhole device that turns 105 minutes into four hours. Desperate to delete the email before he reads it, Wesley heads to Mexico with her best friends, Brooke (Anna Camp) and Kaylie (Sarah Burns), to find Jared’s laptop before he gets released from the hospital. When he doesn’t contact her for five days, Wesley assumes she’s been ghosted and writes him an angry email, only to find out he’s actually been in a coma in Mexico. Just as she’s given up hope, she meets Jared (Robbie Amell), who seems like the perfect guy. She’s unlucky in love, broke, and unable to find a job after finishing grad school. And then there is this mysterious woman from New Orleans, Isabelle…Ĭombine your team’s special skills to overcome each tough challenge in your own style.Wesley (Nasim Pedrad) is struggling to get her life together. Kate can fool almost any man with the right outfit, and kills discreetly with her hidden gun. Cold blooded bounty hunter McCoy likes to be methodical, using lures, knockout gas, poison syringes and a custom long-range pistol. Strongman Hector carries a giant bear trap and can slay the toughest opponents with his trusty axe. A good plan can make the difference between survival and finding yourself at the business end of a pistol.ĭrifter, gunslinger, and natural leader Cooper can kill quietly with a knife, or take out multiple foes with his revolvers. On Cooper’s quest for redemption, his adventures lead him and his gang from rural towns, over swamps and riverbanks, and finally to a dramatic showdown worthy of Wild West legends. In this long-awaited prequel to the beloved classic Desperados: Wanted Dead or Alive, John Cooper will join forces with the runaway bride Kate, the shady hitman Doc McCoy, the giant trapper Hector, and Isabelle, a mysterious lady from New Orleans. Desperados III is a story-driven, hardcore tactical stealth game, set in a ruthless Wild West scenario.
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